A Giggle Or Thought For The Day!

[Kathryn]

Here is one for all of my Dieting Diva Sisters, thought you would enjoy this one!
Hugs, Kathy

Yesterday I was at my local Target buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Sheriff, the Wonder Dog, and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant?

So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story).

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Target won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

[Barb]

Here's one I just found in an old 1960's Look magazine:

How I Keep In Shape

Some girls whose poundage Startes to rise
Eat less than any bird'll, But I prefer to exercise
(By struggling with a girdle).
by Ruth Chadwick

Do they stil make those things?

[Kathryn]

As many of you know I deal with MS daily and though the following was sent to me by a friend I know exactly how this woman felt....Loved the ending and now am wondering about my own helpful local market....

In 1970, when I first developed M.S. symptoms, I lived in Shillington, near Reading , Pennsylvania . My employer's fear of chronic illness ended my career, but I still drove my car and did my own shopping when I could.

There was a little market near home. The first time I went there, my balance and dexterity were affected and I dropped a can, which rolled across the floor. I had considerable trouble retrieving it, dropping it several times in my struggle. Once I had the can firmly in hand, I couldn't get up from my knees! One of the "bagboys" helped me.

I continued shopping but when it came time to "check out", the lines were pretty long. Well, wouldn't you know it, I lost my balance and those racks of candy and gum always placed near the check out lines were knocked off on the floor -- candy and gum scattering and rolling everywhere! I tried to pick it up, but kept losing my balance and dropping or spilling them again and again.

Seeing my distress, the owner/manager helped me up, got me through the checkout line and bagged my groceries. He took my car keys and drove my car right up to the door and loaded everything into the trunk for me!

I was so pleased that I returned again and again to that store. Always, someone was there to help me. As I pushed the cart, and
looked at an item, things appeared in it as if by magic. My helper checked me through the line immediately and always helped me to the car - often bringing the car up to the door for me.

Some years later I moved 10 miles away but I continued to come back to the same store despite the long drive. I always felt special
there because of their help and courtesy I told lots of friends about the little market but no one reported the special treatment
and made me feel almost as if I was making up a story. But over at least 12 - 15 years I'd enjoyed shopping there.

About that time my teenaged daughter began to date a young man from town. I heard them laughing in the other room and she called me, saying "Mom! You've got to hear this!"

The young man (I've forgotten his name after all these years) was beet red with embarrassment, spluttering: "No, don't tell your
mother! Please, don't!"

She told me anyway, and much to his relief I fell to the floor laughing till the tears ran down my cheeks!

It seems that he'd just gotten a job at the little market where I liked to shop. Recently I'd been in and he was stocking shelves when
the manager came over and said to him: "See that lady over there? No matter what you are doing, leave it. Help her. Open a new cash
register. Take her groceries out of the cart. Help her to the car or bring the car to the door."

"Why all the special care?" he asked his manager.

"Son, she's the town drunk and we want her in and out of here as fast as possible!"

Did I go back there to shop? You bet! Would you give up that kind of service?

[Kathryn]

A Dog's Purpose? (from a 6-year-old).

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told
the family we
couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the
euthanasia
procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought
it would be
good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They
felt as
though Shane might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as
Belker 's family
surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog
for the last
time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on..
Within a few
minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without
any
difficulty or confusion.. We sat together for a while after
Belker's
Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives
are shorter
than human lives.
Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, ''I know
why.''

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth
next stunned
me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation. It has
changed the
way I try and live.

He said,''People are born so that they can learn how to
live a good life
-- like loving everybody all the time and being nice,
right?'' The
Six-year-old continued,

''Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't
have to stay as
long.''

Live simply.

Love generously.

Care deeply.

Speak kindly.

Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things
like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face
to be pure
Ecstasy.

Take naps..

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady
tree.

When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Be loyal.

Never pretend to be something you're not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by,
and nuzzle
them gently.

ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!